Bible reading, castle, christianity, Christianstein, church attendance, courage of Stephen, creating spiritual life, doctor, evangelical, I Corinthians 13, Igor, Love, orthodoxy, patience of Job, prayer, Ray Navarro, thunder, voice of an evangelist
It was a dark and stormy night.
You could hear thunder in the distance. Bats flapped their wings in the darkness of the night as they exited a castle. If things weren’t creepy enough, the wolves were howling and the trees were swaying in the wind.
Inside the castle a faint light shown from the laboratory. This was the inner sanctum of one of the maddest scientist of time….the infamous Dr. E. Van-Gelical!
A lone rat ran across the granite floor as the Dr’s daunting figure appeared in the light. Dr. Van Gelical’s lab coat was stained with the evidence of his notorious experiments. His eyes were glowing with delight as he gazed upon the table in the middle of the room which was covered with a white sheet.
Under the sheet lay a human-like form.
Suddenly, Dr. E Van Gelical shouted, “Igor, come quickly! We have much to do!“
Irregular footsteps were heard coming down from the stairs. As if appearing from thin air, Igor was in the room. He was hunchback with tattered clothes. In his possession was a candelabra and a big cardboard box.
“Yes master. Here is everything you ordered. All is ready!“
“Very good. Bring all the materials to the table Igor. Now at last, we begin the experiment!“
Thunder was heard in the distance while Igor dragged the box toward the table.
“Tonight I will conduct the greatest experiment of my long, illustrious career. Tonight shall be my greatest triumph ever!“
Doctor E Van Gelical raised his fist towards the sky and with great gusto cried, “I shall achieve what no man has achieved before. Tonight I create spiritual life! This shall be my greatest hour for I shall create… Christianstein!“
More thunder and lightning poured through the halls of the laboratory.
“They say that I am mad Igor. But Christianstein shall be the greatest specimen of spiritual life the world has ever seen! He shall be everything Igor, EVERYTHING!“
“The moment has arrived. Igor, my gloves!“
“Give me the voice of a great evangelist Igor!“
“Yes master.” He handed him a jar from the box.
“The courage of Stephen!” Igor produced a dusty vial.
“The patience of Job!” the doctor commanded and he was rewarded with an ancient-looking flask.
“Now the hypodermic and all the serum I distilled!“
Igor’s hands trembled as he presented a long, steel syringe and bottles filled with different colored fluids.
“Double doses of daily prayer and Bible reading,” murmured Dr. E Van Gelical while he withdrew liquid from one of the bottles and injected it into the lifeless figure.
“Then faithful church attendance…generous giving…temperance…volunteer work…ability to resist temptation…witnessing…“
The doctor paused for a moment, then filled the syringe with fluid from the final container. “And last-but not least-a triple injection of orthodoxy!
The mad doctor consulted his list once more.
“Examine the box Igor. Have we forgotten anything?“
“Oh no master…Everything must be in place!“
“Excellent! This is the moment the world has waited for. This is the moment for….Christianstein!”
The doctor dashed to the nearest wall where the electrical control panel waited for his arrival.
“A million volts of lightning will bring my creation to life. Now stand back Igor while I throw the power switch. Prepare to meet the perfect Christian…CHRISTIANSTEIN!“
Doctor E Van Gelical threw the massive switch as an avalanche of thunder shook the castle.
The figure began to tremble.
“Doctor,” shouted Igor. “It is moving! It is moving!“
“Yes, yes, my creation lives!”
The thing called “CHRISTIANSTEIN” sat up slowly. After a few more tremors and shakes.. stiffly it climbed from the table and stood to its full height.
“Oh, my creation…..Speak to me, speak to me!“
The figure looked down at the doctor and frowned. Finally it began to speak in a low and hostile growl: “If I speak in the language of angels but have not love…“
“LOVE?” asked the doctor, examining in his list once again. “Whats love got to do with it?“
Slowly the creature lifted his hands towards the doctor who was still consulting his list.
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have faith that can move mountains and have not love….”
“LOVE? Igor, what is he talking about?“
“I, I don’t know master!” Igor hid himself under the table.
“If I give all my possessions to the poor and give my body to the flames to be burned and have not love…” Suddenly the figure, growling, picked up the doctor by his coat. “I gain nothing!“
“Nothing?” said the doctor.
“Aaarrggghhh!” the creature bellowed, throwing the doctor to the ground and reaching for his throat.
“Igor you fool! I knew that we forgot something! And such a small thing!” The doctor fled for his life with the creature CHRISTIANSTEIN in hot pursuit.
A few minutes passed before Igor finally had enough courage to come out from under the table. Finally, looking one direction then another, he whispered: “I, I think we have created a monster!“
by Ray Navarro